The Gentlemen
This guy came into to Umbria today. He pretty much committed every pet peeve I have in one visit. First he poses the question "You guys don't do a lunch buffet, or an all you can eat buffet or anything like that do you?" Then after I told him that we have EXACTLY that and he should lead a more optimistic lifestyle we asked me if we plan on having cheese pizza on the buffet. It actually made me feel a little bad having to tell him we wont be having cheese pizza on the buffet after he posed the question optimistically "Will you have cheese pizza?" rather than "I suppose you wont be having cheese pizza." It's okay though, pepperoni is boring enough for this gentlemen, so he said it's all good, he will enjoy some pasta and wait for the pizza.
When I was showing him the pastas I already knew he didn't care what I was talking about. This is the kind of guy who eats spaghetti — period. He doesn't care about white sauce, he doesn't like veggies, he is afraid of noodles that are in strange shapes. He wants only spaghetti. As soon as I unveiled the vegetable penne with artichoke hearts and infused olive oil sauce and saw how quickly he averted his eyes from so many colorful vegetables I knew. But just for fun I thought I would toy with him a little bit. I decided to reveal the spaghetti last.
I uncovered the pesto rigatoni with italian sausage and I watched him begin to panic a little. I uncovered the chicken linguini with alfredo sauce, I think he began sweating. If the last container didn't have plain spaghetti, then he pretty much just wasted $10 because his delicate palate can't handle all of the gourmet ingredients in our more luxurious pasta dishes. He is just a simple man with simple tastes. If he can't have his spaghetti his whole lunch is ruined. How can I expect him to actually try something out of his realm of understanding like a dish with "pesto" or "alfredo" sauce?
I revealed the spaghetti and he exhaled deeply. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave crashing on rocks, so powerfully that some of it splashed on me. I began explaining what was in the pastas, and how he sauce is fresh made. He didn't care, he was just staring at the spaghetti thanking the powers that be that he didn't have to go through the embarrassment of asking for a refund because he feels like he is on Romulus and none of the Romulan food is edible.
"I'll have some spaghetti with the red sauce please."
When I was showing him the pastas I already knew he didn't care what I was talking about. This is the kind of guy who eats spaghetti — period. He doesn't care about white sauce, he doesn't like veggies, he is afraid of noodles that are in strange shapes. He wants only spaghetti. As soon as I unveiled the vegetable penne with artichoke hearts and infused olive oil sauce and saw how quickly he averted his eyes from so many colorful vegetables I knew. But just for fun I thought I would toy with him a little bit. I decided to reveal the spaghetti last.
I uncovered the pesto rigatoni with italian sausage and I watched him begin to panic a little. I uncovered the chicken linguini with alfredo sauce, I think he began sweating. If the last container didn't have plain spaghetti, then he pretty much just wasted $10 because his delicate palate can't handle all of the gourmet ingredients in our more luxurious pasta dishes. He is just a simple man with simple tastes. If he can't have his spaghetti his whole lunch is ruined. How can I expect him to actually try something out of his realm of understanding like a dish with "pesto" or "alfredo" sauce?
I revealed the spaghetti and he exhaled deeply. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave crashing on rocks, so powerfully that some of it splashed on me. I began explaining what was in the pastas, and how he sauce is fresh made. He didn't care, he was just staring at the spaghetti thanking the powers that be that he didn't have to go through the embarrassment of asking for a refund because he feels like he is on Romulus and none of the Romulan food is edible.
"I'll have some spaghetti with the red sauce please."
posted by VirtualAlex at 10:08 AM
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